On That Fateful Day
by AkachanKitsune
Summary: Gilbert remembers the day in which his entire life was turned upside down, and his heart broken beyond repair. Short one-shot. Warning - character death. Prucan


"- and please keep watching over papa up there in heaven, and make sure he has enough pancakes and maple syrup every day. And I don't think I'll be able to see him for a while, so would you be able to take Mr Kuma and make him real to keep papa company? Thank you."  
From the dimly-lit hallway, Gilbert watched as his adopted son crawled under the thick duvet and reached out a chubby hand for the stuffed polar bear toy that he loved so dearly. Ludwig nuzzled the fur and held the bear close to his face, inhaling the faint scent of maple that reminded him so much of his dear papa. Even now he remembered the day that he had recieved the cuddly toy - it had been during a trip to the fair that his parents took him to annually. Ludwig had eyed the crane machine with eyes wide as saucers until, with a quiet chuckle, his papa had agreed to have a go and see if they won anything. To the young blond's delight, his papa had soon after brandished the stuffed animal and gave it to the squealing toddler - a huge beam on his face at the sound of Ludwig's delighted shrieks. That had been over three years ago now, but even to this day - and even more so now - the child had always cradled the polar bear when he was upset and unable to recieve one of his papa's loving, warm hugs.

Gilbert sighed, turning away from Ludwig's bedroom and descending the stairs as quietly as he could so as not to disturb him. On his way to the living room, the platinum-haired man reached into the fridge for a cold beer before flopping onto the sofa and flicking on the telly. Even as he scrolled through the channels he was unable to distract himself with whatever programs were on - his eyes instead wandering to the freshly-polished picture on the table beside him. He forced them back to the TV, but it wasn't long before once more they were wandering to his right. He finally gave in, tilting his head to the side and reaching out to grab the bulky frame of the photograph. A small, rueful smile twitched on his lips as he lay eyes on the wavy blond locks, violet eyes and dusty pink cheeks of the male in the picture. He absorbed every feature of the photograph greedily, as though he would never get the chance to see it again, and soon found hot, stinging tears welling up in his eyes. Dammit, this was why he tried to avoid the picture at all costs - looking at it was far too painful. It had been over a month since... since the... since the accident. Over a month and he could still picture it so clearly in his mind it could have happened not an hour ago. He could still feel the agony that he felt on that day - the neverending ache of grief that felt as if Gilbert would be weighed down with it forever.  
"Oh, birdy..." He sighed, resting the photo on his chest. "I'm so lost without you..."

In truth, Gilbert had been lost ever since the phonecall he had recieved at 7:39pm on that fateful day.

_It had been raining, oh how befitting of the situation, and Gilbert had been desperately trying to entertain a whiny five year old that would not settle down until his stomach was filled. Gilbert had tried postponing feeding Ludwig because, in all honesty, he didn't have a single clue when it came to matters of the kitchen. Matthew was running late today, obviously he had some things he needed to do in the office, and his Canadian boyfriend was always the one who cooked. If the Prussian tried, he was guaranteed to burn the whole house down and Mattie so would not be happy about that. _  
_"Papa will be home soon, Luddy," Gilbert desperately tried to reassure the other blond. "And I bet he'll cook something extra special to make up for being late!"_  
_"But vati..." Ludwig pined, impatient enough as his stomach growled loudly. "I'm so hungry! Can't we just have a snack until he turns up? Please?"_  
_Gilbert crumbled instantly under the wide, puppy dog eyes of his son and finally nodded - scooping up Ludwig and placing him on the kitchen counter before appeasing him with a cold wurst. Ludwig looked as if he would have much preferred the sausage hot, but started to wolf it down nevertheless. The boy then took advantage of the sudden trilling of the phone by reaching over to take an apple from the fruit bowl - taking a large bite while Gilbert was occupied so that he would not be denied the fruit. He paid no mind to Gilbert's soft, confused conversation over the phone - far more focused on scoffing down the little food he had been given in hours. That is, until, he heard the clatter of the phone on wood and a strangled, half-muffled cry from his father. He peered around the doorway, confused as to why the albino had his hand clapped to his mouth and was sagged against the wall._

_"V-vati?" He questioned, his voice high-pitched and quivering with slight fear. "Are you okay?"_  
_"Ludwig.." Gilbert turned to him and the small boy felt a thrill of panic - his father never used his full name, not even when he was in serious trouble. "Papa... Papa's not going to be coming home tonight, okay?"_  
_"Oh... why?"_  
_"He... He's got a lot of work to do and he has to finish it. I need to go and help him get it done, alright? So I'm going to call Feliciano to come and babysit you while I go and help papa... do you understand?"_  
_Ludwig nodded, clinging tighter to his stuffed toy and hiding his face behind it. His vati was beginning to scare him - the older man looked as if he was near to fainting and his voice was trembling so hard he was barely audible. But he didn't understand why his father was acting like this - and nor did he understand even by the time his bubbly Italian babysitter arrived at the door, a concerned frown replacing his usual grin. Feliciano whispered a few words in Gilbert's ear as he grabbed his keys, before pulling the albino into a hug and allowing him to leave._

_Gilbert gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were devoid of all colour and his hands throbbed and ached. He must have been driving at double the speed limit as well, but in that moment he really did not care in the slightest. The only thing he cared about was getting to his precious Matthew's side as soon as possible, and if that meant that he broke a few laws in the process, so be it. His mind was a cloudy daze as he drove, the only thing running clear in his head being the words of the woman over the phone. "A passerby informed us that as Matthew was leaving the building of his work he was struck by a car that had lost control in the rain and was consequently pinned against the wall. He is currently on his way to A&E but we aren't too sure on the details of his condition." The words swum through his mind like a tape stuck on a neverending loop - poisoning his mind with brutal images that would not go away. He had no idea whether Mattie was going to be alright, and it was killing him slowly. Mattie could be dead..._  
_'Stop that,' he ordered to himself sharply, as he pulled up outside of the hospital, 'save your worries for when you actually see him'. _  
_Gilbert all but sprinted down the hallways of the hospital after being told which room Matthew was in - his eyes scanning the signs above his head for directions to the room. Finally, he skidded to a halt at the first door of the ward, his heart pounding frantically as he pushed open the door._

_It felt as if his heart had stopped beating altogether._

Gilbert shook his head frantically - no, he did not want to remember that. He didn't want to remember Matthew's bandaged, heavily bruised face as he lay on the hospital bed - tubes and lines seeming to prod every inch of his body. He didn't want to remember how long he had spent crying over his boyfriend's lifeless body, until suddenly the heart monitor beside him had started beeping frantically. He didn't want to remember how he had stood up, bewildered, until Matthew's heart had stopped and he was forced - screaming and begging - out of the room. And most of all, he did not want to remember watching numbly as the Canadian's coffin was slowly lowered into the ground - Matthew out of his arms forever more.

Gilbert's breath was coming out in shallow, rapid breaths now. He could feel the tears pouring down his cheeks but he made no attempt to wipe them away - his hands instead being put to use wrapped around his chest as if he was trying to force his broken heart back together. He didn't want to live like this anymore, sitting around and just wishing that Matthew would open the door, quietly announce that he was home and greet the Prussian with a loving kiss. He wanted his birdy back where he belonged, and he wanted Ludwig to grow up having fond memories of his papa rather than a few brief and vague childhood recollections. He and Matthew should have been together forever - that's what Gilbert had declared to Matthew on the day the other had moved in with him, and it was what he had reminded him every single day of their lives. This wasn't fair, that Matthew had been snatched away from him after under ten years of their lives together. He just wanted to see the blond again... just one more time would be enough to tell him everything he never got the oppurtunity to when Mattie was alive. He wished he could have taken Mattie's place instead... He wished it wasn't him that was left to deal with the waves of pain and loneliness.  
Gilbert just wished that Mattie had come home on that fateful day...


End file.
